Me: What does your mom do for her job?
Alivia: Work on the computer.
(Yes, that's true.)
Me: What is your mom’s favorite food?
Alivia: Hot bread!
(Dang, this girl is smart! I love hot bread!!!)
Me: What makes you proud of your mom?
Alivia: Baking cookies.
(Liv. Pay close attention. I don't bake. I eat. The dough.)
Me: Who is your mom’s favorite cartoon character?
Alivia: Archuleta
(I don't even know what to say in response to that. As in David? And in that case, how does she even know about him? Someone get back to me on that.)
Me: What do you and your mom do together?
Alivia: Fall in love.
(We need to have a serious talk about boundaries.)
Me: How are you and your mom the same?
Alivia: Wearing shirts.
(Yup. We are both wearing shirts! Great observation!)
Me: How are you and your mom different?
Alivia: Not wearing the same shirts.
(Yes, they are different shirts! And thank God for that, because your shirt is from the Supercross....and that's not really my thing, per se...)
Me: How do you know your mom loves you?
Alivia: Hugging.
(Awwww...)
Me: Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
Alivia: Jalapeño Mexican Restaurant and Alfie’s.
(Wrong and barf.)
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Alivia: An ambulance.
(Good luck with that, Alivia. I am here to support you in whatever way I can.)
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!! I love you lots and lots and I'm super proud of you. Hey, I have an idea....let's make cookies together!
So I just ran across this cute program that lets you put together one of the cute little collages - in different shapes and it takes mere minutes - and the best part? It's free. I like free things. Alot. And I like you. So here you go!
Then as soon as Melissa walks out heartbroken, ABC brings Molly out and Jason tells her he's still in love with her, that he made a mistake, and that he wants to be with her forever......minutes after dumping Melissa. Pattern, much?
I get why Molly said she'd take him back. She loved him and he broke her heart. Then he said the words that every girl in her shoes would want to hear.
But dangit, I was hoping she'd be like: "Um.....I'm gonna have to go with no. You had your chance buddy, now have fun being single and trying to get a date. You just made all of the women in America hate you, so......good luck with that. Mm-kay, buh-bye."
But sadly, that's not how it went. She said yes. And now they can live happily ever after........for the next 6 months. 
Here's a clip of him getting ruined by Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, Jimmy....I love you for doing this!
Marci: "Hi, hon. How you doin' this morning?"
Page 2
It breaks my heart that you say that I am part dog when I am not.
I couldn't stop laughing. He was sitting at the counter, and I could tell that he was trying to be mad at me, but he couldn't help but start laughing with me.
Me: "Well, Andrew, you've proved some very good points here. I think based on this evidence, I have no choice but to retract my statement and confirm that you are indeed NOT part dog."
Then I apologized for hurting his feelings. I explained that it was just a figure of speech and that it was impossible for any human to be part dog.
And thank goodness....he decided to forgive me.
She's currently rolling around the living room. I put her down and walk away and 2 minutes later, she's across the room - and usually having a little fit because she can't get a hold of some toy she really, really wants. I don't know if it's because she's the 3rd child - therefore feeling the need to be overly obnoxious to make sure her needs get met - or - if she's just really spirited. Make no mistake. If she has a question, concern, comment, consideration or complaint - she makes it known. Quite loudly. But I can't help but kiss her chubby cheeks every chance I get. And she eats it up. The girl loves to be loved on.
Alivia - 3.5 years
Andrew - 7 years
That's not what I meant.
I said shut your PIE HOLE!
XOXO
Last night was a good night. The entire week took place in Seattle. Our shirtless Bachelor put on a flannel and geared up for some cold weather - and lots of fun. His first date was with Melissa - and it didn't quite go as planned. You see, Ty was upset. His dad has been gone for the past few weeks. Then he comes home. Only to get ready to leave again. Little Ty is about done with that nonsense. So he throws a bit of a tantrum (understandably so) and Jason - being the good daddy that he is - decides to change the date around a bit.
Jillian said.....I don't know.....something about ewwt and abewwt. Whatev.
Molly said....she likes to wear lingerie. Which she then admits never stays on very long. Um, Molly? I like you. I really, really like you. I'm straight up torn between you and Melissa. But - you need to be careful how you answer these types of questions. Cause that answer kinda made you sound like a hooker. But I still love you. BFF, okay?
Stephanie said....(in her southern-accented phone-sex operator voice) First she takes a deep breath, and slowly exhales, into the microphone. She thinks...deeply. The she slowly begins to speak. In a soft southern drawl.
Oh, but Stephanie's not done yet. No, my friends, she keeps going.
Well, earlier in the school year, he created his first character book. Bee Man, he called it. Bee Man is a superhero who saves the day fighting Bee Evil and his "eeee-vill" ways. I have no idea what inspired Andrew to create this character, but he's very much a huge part of Andrew's life right now. He writes book after book, he takes them to school and reads them in front of this class. He plays Bee-Man on the playground with his sidekicks Bee Evan (Andrew's BFF) and Bee Jai-Dee (Andrew's little sweetie). Except Jai-Dee doesn't want to play Bee Man very often because she wants to play with her girly friends. So, usually it's just Andrew and Evan. Which Andrew doesn't like very much at all. But I explained to him that most girls their age want to play with other little girls....and it's usually jump-rope or hopscotch, not pretending to be super heroes flying around trying to avoid "giant spatulas."
I'm rambling.
Just before Christmas, I told Andrew that we could "publish" one of his books, and that is exactly what we did! He did all the writing and illustrations - which crack me up! I just purchased the first copy and it should be here within a week. So, if any of you out there want your very own copy of Andrew's first published book - just click on the button below to purchase it. He will earn a couple $$ for each book sold, which will help him purchase more book making supplies.....and by book making supplies, I mean candy.
Okay, maybe a mix of candy and book making supplies.
Alright, I'm not gonna lie. I told him he has to save all his Bee Man money to buy me a diamond necklace.
That's another lie.
But he would be super stoked if anyone acually bought his book.
You never know? He could end up being the next J.K. Rowling. And this first edition could be worth a bagrillion dollars someday...
Yes, that's a real number.
....yet again, another lie.
Sorry.
For all the lying.
Let's get started. There was some serious awkward in this episode. For example, during the group date when Nikki/Miss Muttonchops (seriously, look at those things!) sat down for some one on one time with Jason and couldn't think of anything to say. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Like you could actually hear crickets while they both stared blankly at eachother. Awk.Ward. And her reasoning for it? She explains, in tears, she's a control freak - in fact, she's got every detail of her life planned out ahead of time so she just doesn't feel comfortable with certain spontaneous situations. Such as one-on-one conversation. Um, Nikki? If you really plan everything like you claim, am I left to believe that you actually planned your sideburns? Get back to me on that.
Sadly, Natalie Fabulous got sent home this week and did not take it gracefully. In fact, she down right threw a tantrum. She just couldn't wrap her cute little brain around Jason's decision to send her home. And I totally understand where she's coming from. I mean, anyone - anyone who loves clothes, shoes, fashion, bears, and not just some bears, but ALL bears, is clearly someone who loves party all night in upscale martini bars is ready to be married with a stepchild. She was sooooo ready. I wonder why he couldn't see that?
My favorite girl of the week is Stalker Shannon. She experienced some real growth this week. I get the feeling that she's seen the error in her ways - the whole stalker thing wasn't really working for her, so she's tranforming her persona. She's no longer Stalker Shannon. No ma'am. She's Emotional Trainwreck Shannon.
In the above picture, she was feeling sad and neglected during the group date. She wasn't getting enough alone time with Jason, so she just awkwardly grabbed him and hugged him. Out. Of. No. Where. (Look at how the other girls are all laughing and looking away. They can't stand it. Look how the drink in Jason's hand is about to spill. Perfection!) They finally sat down to talk and what does Shannon do? She starts crying because she just doesn't know quite how to express to him how she "just wants to lay in her PJ's with him, just the two of them. In PJ's." It's my opinion that she's already begun the process, since she completely stopped wearing make-up/doing her hair/taking a shower/brushing her teeth after vomiting during the rose ceremony. Oh, yeah. She vomited. No - sadly, no....it wasn't because she drank too much. It was because some of girls were being catty with eachother. (GASP!) I know, can you believe it? Drama? Between 12 women all dating the same guy? I can't imagine why? This has never happened on previous seasons!
The worst part? Jason kept her....he actually gave that girl a rose! In his defense, he does have a slight problem. He's just handing out roses because he has to. ABC has preallocated a certain amount of roses to give out each week. With the choices he has left, you know he's playing eenie-meenie-miney-moe in his head during the "dramatic pauses" between each name called.
Also, I'd like to add that I'm feeling slightly guilty regarding last weeks opinion of Stephanie.....(sigh)....after watching this weeks episode, she seems a little less scary and lot more sweet. When she was telling the other girls about her husband dying, I really felt badly for her. Kind of made me love her. And then when they showed next weeks preview and how Jason surprises her by bringing her daughter down to Cali??? I really have a hard time not liking the girls who seem genuinely nice. She reminds me of the house mother. I still don't think she's gonna make a good match for Jason, but she will for somebody.
I agree with Kathy about Melissa - she's definitely my favorite so far. And usually, I'm pretty good at predicting who will at least make it down to the final 4, and she's definitely in.
I also agree with Kathy about DeAnna. And I'm equally embarrassed about it! I wanted to hate her - I really did. But I just can't. I'm secretly hoping that maybe they end up together after all. But, my bachelor intuition tells me that he's going to kick her to curb.
Since this weeks episode wasn't as drama filled as I would have liked, I've decided to showcase something I've noticed over the previous 13 seasons of this show. ABC has the most uncanny ability to find these girls who are celebrity look alikes. Take a look at what I'm talking about:
Ashlee / Leelee Sobieski
Megan / Dixie Carter 
Natalie / Tina Fabulous
Nikki / Mr. Muttonchops
Are there any others you can think about?
Moving on to Renee: Lady - you've got serious balls. You not only filled the token "old lady" spot in the bachelorette line-up, but you added a little bit crazy to the mix, too! Thank you for such enjoyable entertainment. I really liked the idea of your vision boards. So, just to get this straight - your theory is that if you cut out some pictures and letters from magazines and glue-stick them to some poster board, then whatever you want will come true? Is that correct? Your vision board about you and Jason being together forever was really sweet. Stalkerish...but sweet. 
Now for Jackie: You are so sweet to devote your time to being Week One's Drunk Girl. I had so much fun watching you talk about how you were engaged to one guy, but then dumped him by leaving your ring on his pillow in the middle of the night while he slept. And then how you found another sucker to actually marry you, but how it didn't work out. I was so impressed when you noted that you had all sorts of fun planning the wedding, but you hadn't planned for the "after party." I love that you had that much wisdom regarding that situation, and yet here you are again - planning yet another wedding, with Jason this time. A guy you've never even met. Awwww....how sweet.
Finally, let's get to Shannon: Remember when you were sitting outside with Jason and you were telling him how you'd researched every detail of his life? Remember how you knew his brothers name, his brother's girlfriends name, her mother's name and the name of her great uncles chilhood cat? Remember that? Remember when you said you didn't want to sound all "stalker-ish?" Remember? Remember that?
Classic.
I hate to be the first one to break it to you, but you're someone the police would consider a threat. You don't quite qualify for a restraining order. But you're awfully close! I think when he dumps you, we may be in for quite a ride. And I can't wait.
Now moving on to most shockingly delicious part. Ladies - DeAnna is coming back! And she's coming back for Jason.
Say, what??!!
She made a mistake??!! She wants to be with Jason after all?! Oh, party people this is gonna be good. Soooo good. I cannot wait.
See? It's pretty complicated. Soooo.....You can look at it here instead. Merry Christmas everybody!!!
Seven years ago, my life changed forever. On November 5th at 3:14am, my view of the world shifted in an instant. His very first breath completely transformed my identity. He didn't know it, but he gave me the gift that I treasure most of all. He made me a mama. His mama. And I am so completely honored that God chose me to be Andrew's mother. He really is something else...
Andrew's first few months of life were pretty tough on me. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom. BIG transition. He was a fussy infant, to put it mildly. He screamed if I wasn't holding him. And it had to be me. Not Daddy. Not Granny. Not Auntie - not anybody else, just me. That wore me out. Big time. And when he cried, I would cry, (chalk that up to being a first time mommy) so I held him. Alot. And we cried together many times in those first few months. But then, right around 4 months old, his disposition suddenly changed overnight. He became the most easy going, happiest little guy you'd ever meet. He would go to anybody and was more than happy about it. He laughed easily (still does) and often. By his first birthday, he was very close to walking and was obsessed with doors. He would just open and close them, over and over and over. He didn't care at all what was inside the door, he just liked making them open and close.
When my little guy turned 2, we had moved to California for the year. We had so much fun there - took that little guy all over the Bay Area. I knew he was smart - he could recognize every letter of the alphabet before his second birthday. He was obsessed with trains. We lived really close to the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) and every time he'd see one go by - he would get all excited, point and yell "FREIN, FREIN!!!!!" He also really liked trucks. And he didn't quite know how to pronounce truck correctly. He replaced the "tr" sound with the "f" sound. That was super fun when we were out in public and he would see a truck, and yell: "Ooooooooh, f*ck! BIG F*CK!!!!!" Needless to say, we got some strange looks from some folks, but a few smiles too. He was becoming more and more independent. He wouldn't cuddle with me to save his life. He was far too busy for that nonsense. So at night, when he was sleeping, I would go into his bedroom, lift him out of his crib and hold him while he slept, just so I could get some cuddle time in with my little man.
By the time Andrew turned 3, I was pregnant with Livie. We had (sadly) moved home from Cali and were back in our house. During his third year - I began to realize just how incredibly stubborn he could be. Potty training him was not easy. He didn't see why he needed to change what he'd been doing his whole life. He was content to poop his pants until the day he died. But finally, with a sticker chart and the promise of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, he caved and decided to officially become a big boy. He also became a big brother for the first time. Before Alivia was born, I spent alot of time talking to him about his role as a big brother. I explained to him what an important job it was to be a big brother. He needed to be gentle with her. He needed to protect his baby sister and keep her safe. I talked to him about my older brother, and how much I love him and how Livia would look up to him just as I look up to his Uncle Clinton. I also told him that he was very special to be because he was my first baby, and my only son. I still tell him that. And if I don't tell him often enough, he'll ask me if it's still true.
When Andrew turned four, he had just started his first year of preschool. I was so insanely proud of him - to see my baby boy in a classroom. With friends and a teacher and the constant projects he worked so hard on. They were so darn cute! But it made me feel a little sad that he was growing up so fast. I'd always looked forward to watching him grow. When he was a newborn, I would just look at him and try to imagine him at the age of 4. What would he look like? What would be his favorite things? What kind of personality would he have? And here he was, four - in the blink of any eye. What happened to my baby? I never expected to mourn. But in a way, I did. He was transforming from a baby into a little boy. But, oh, how he made me proud! He began to learn how to write, and started leaving me love notes. The first one I ever got from his was on his magnadoodle. He figured out pretty quickly that mama can be buttered up with an "I love you" and a "You're so pretty, mama." That year was definitely a transition for me. I was so torn between the sadness I felt from watching my baby disappear and the overabundance of pride I felt about the amazing little boy he was turning into.
When Andrew turned 5, he had just started his 2nd year of preschool. I absolutely loved the school he went to because he learned so much. He was always coming home asking me if I knew about this or that. He just had such a desire to learn, and sometimes he would blow me away with his capability to absorb so much information. He was still just as social, if not more than ever. Andrew made friends wherever we went. Literally. And still, loved to laugh. He definitely inherited my sense of humor.
When Andrew turned 6, he had just started kindergarten. This was a brand new school, and I wondered how he would feel about being in school full time. He went from going to school 3 days a week, for 2.5 hours each day - to school 5 days a week, 6 hours each day. But, the big - huge - deal for him was that he got to ride the school bus. I'll never forget that day when I walked him up to the bus stop for the first time. When the bus started to come around the corner, I thought he was going to explode, he was so excited!! He'd been asking to ride a school bus since he was two, and now, finally it was really happening. I helped him get on the bus, and then stepped back off, and watched my life drive away, in the hands of some woman I'd never met until that moment. I didn't follow the bus, I wouldn't let myself. I told myself this is just the first of many times I was just going to have to let him do it on his own. This is a part of the process. That day, when he got off the bus, he literally ran to me and gave me a huge hug. Then proceeded to tell me all about his day as we walked into the house. I held his little hand in mine and looked down at him chattering away and again my heart swelled with pride.
Now here he is at the age of 7. I swear, he'll be taller than me within the next couple years. I know, I know, that's not saying alot, being that I'm a borderline "little person." But I imagine watching your child outgrow you proves to be quite a shock for any mother. Even for the 5'11" giants I know. (Ahem....kathy....) He started playing soccer this year. I LOVED watching him play! When he scored his first goal, I almost burst with pride. I was on the sidelines screaming and clapping like a blithering idiot. He saw me. And he laughed. He is still very affectionate with me, and I just eat it up. I know the day is coming where it's no longer cool to approach your mama just for a hug, so when he comes to me just to say I love you, I hang on to him just a little bit longer. Just so I can remember through those teenage years, when I have coax a hug or two out of him. Who knows? Maybe he won't change. But most likely, he will. Then maybe I'll sneak into his room and pick him up like I used to when he was one - just to get a hug out of him. There is a part of me that hopes - as hard as I can - that he'll never stop being the way he is now. He is so sweet, sensitive, loving, stubborn, funny, helpful, mischievous, smart and I love him more everyday that goes by.
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