The Bachelor: Week 6

This week was hometown dates. And is it me, or was it just sort of weird? Like the whole darn episode was filled with a whole lotta weird. Mixed in with a little dash of boring. Let's get started, shall we?

Jillian

First, Mr. Mesnick went to Canada to visit Jillian and her family. They seemed like the most normal of all the families. Funny...... Not psychotic....... Actually in attendance....... Nice, nice family. Everything went well. Her chances were looking pretty good. There was just this one little thing.

Remember Jill's Grandma? Wasn't she sweet? She sure was. Well, there's a pretty darn good chance that you just caught a glimpse into the future - as in that's what Jillian's gonna look like in 50 years.

Oh, c'mon! Don't tisk-tisk me! You know you were thinking it too!

Whatever. She's soooooo going home next week. Kathy - seems to think Molly is gonna be the one to get the boot. Wanna place a friendly wager, little lady?

Molly

Next up, Jason went to meet Molly's family. Jason met up with Molly on a golf course. Now, you all know I've loved me some Molly, but she didn't impress me as much on this date. It started off all sorts of wrong when she made Jason change his perfectly adorable outfit so that he would be appropriately dressed for the golf course.

And the pants she chose for him gave him hella moose-knuckle.

After some really boring golf, they went to meet her parents. Her mom made everyone wear extremely obnoxious hats. You know...to break the ice. Cause, that's normal. And I don't even know what to say about her dad. Other than I'm not sure if the man was actually alive. Did any of you see the man move? I kept waiting for it, but....He might have paid a visit to a taxidermist a few years back. Or maybe they they picked him up at a wax museum. It's gotta be one of those two.

Naomi

Ummmm.....her mom is straight whack. Like she did too many drugs in the 80's kinda whack. I don't know where her head is - but she's a complete freak show. From burying dead doves, to her beliefs that Jason was a mom in a previous life, to her hula hoop extravaganza's. She's. A. Nut. Job. And her DAD!!! Why does he have to be the Christian representative of the show?!! Not that I'm expecting ABC's audience to get saved while watching this show...but still. Not all Christians are like that. He's a sucky rep! Booooooooo!!!

But whatev. She got sent packin' and it was so surprise. What did surprise me what that Naomi never went ghetto on us! I thought for shiz that she was gonna be all up in someone's grill at some point before she got axed. Kinda makes me miss Marshana.

Melissa

Who cares if your family didn't show? Who cares if they are a bunch of unsupportive introverts? Your friends seem pretty cool (even though your BFF's husband openly admitted that he's tired of you being the 5th wheel. That kinda sucked.) You're still adorable. You're still the perfect fit for Jason. And, you're still gonna win. Can I take your newborn pictures when ya'll have babies? I bet you guys will make some cute ones!

DeAnna Disclaimer:

I'm mad. Just plain mad. ABC totally had me going - and I don't like nobody to go makin' a fool of me! Stupid creative editing!!! The whole DeAnna thing is a complete scam! A scam I tell you!!

She's not coming back for Jason. She's not coming back to steal him away from all the other girls in the house. She's not coming back to beg his forgiveness and plead with him to pick her, choose her, love her. She's coming back to advise Jason to think long and hard about his decision (duh-huh) - because she made a mistake.

On this show? Well, I never!

She chose Jesse when she should have chosen someone else. Mark my words, she's not going to say whom she should have chosen - she's not going to profess her undying love for Jason. She's going to do nothing of the sort. She's going to act as the "concerned friend" just so she can help a brutha out, whilst taking advantage of the free trip to New Zealand and another 2.3 minutes of fame. I feel violated. Emotionally raped, if you will.

How dare you, ABC.

How.

Dare.

You.

You promised me some drama. Some DeAnna drama.

I've been a loyal fan of this stupid show every single stupid season since Alex Michel (who, looking back, should have had 25 single men vying for his attention.) And every single stupid season, I get my hopes up that this - yes - this is going to be the season the couple is going to stay together forever - just like you stupidly promise in every stupid promo ever stupidly aired.

Except the one with Shayne Lamas. We all knew that was a joke.

But still! I believed in you. You lied to me. I don't know if I can ever trust you again. I really thought we had something amazing, here. I've come to expect a little creative editing here and there. But this time, you've gone too far. I have half a nerve to ban this show from my DVR and my pretty little eyes forever!

.....I said half a nerve....See you next week.